Rambling Thoughts

There's NOTHING like "OLD FRIENDS" to sit and talk about the "stories of life", laugh awhile, maybe shed a few tears, but still ENJOY every second.

Old friends or New friends...they are ALL priceless!

Loyalty...WOW! Just a few words on that one...if you're part of "something" SUPPORT IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART. Don't let anything or anyone get by with trying to destroy what you love.

I can't wait to get my hands on Bobbie Shoemake's NEW CD! You should be able to order it SOON! It's GREAT...no doubt about it!

I am MISSING my kids and grandkids! I would LOVE to sit and visit awhile and hold our younger granddaughters, and visit and hug our older ones. Mom Elms use to say with tears in her eyes, "I just wish I could feel Jonathan and Andrew's little bodies in my arms!"

After living a "long" life...I'm not sure it's the will of God for kids to move HOURS and HOURS away from their parents!!!! :-) I know, we did it. Now, I question our sanity! I can now understand the feelings of our parent's hearts.

This week has been BUSY, but I have enjoyed being with friends, and preparing food for the Texas District Board. But now...I'm T.I.R.E.D. (still worth it)

Next week is GENERAL CONFERENCE and I am not even close to being ready to go! Still looking forward to it.

For now...I'll stop rambling. Just had to write a few things on my blog to help me keep my sanity... LOL!

A Few Rambling Thoughts

I love my life! God has been so good to me! I sit here tonight getting ready to go to sleep, and I think back over the day and the little things that make "life worth living". I don't have a lot to say, except for I've enjoyed being at home with my husband today. I loved watching him work around the house, doing "Honey Do's". I didn't tell him to do anything, but that's what he called it. He is quite a man! I am thankful he is not lazy!!! In fact, sometimes I have to tell him to stop working, because he has worked long enough and hard enough. I'm thankful he is the way he is. I wouldn't know how to act if I was married to someone who just wouldn't do what needs to be done. :) One thing for sure...he's not going to sit around.

This evening after the days work was finished, I came in the house, sat down at the piano and started playing. Sometimes I just want to sit and play, and sing, and sing, and sing. Today was a day like that. Singing and playing for me is soothing to my spirit. When I play the piano or organ, I can feel the stress of the day go away, and I start feeling my mind and body relax. There's something special about music that does that for me. At one point in my playing and singing I felt like I was ministering to my own "household". Of course, that would only be me and my husband. :) The presence of God came walking into our home, and I knew He was here. There was no grand entrance, just a quiet, peaceful calm that flooded in. I'm thankful for those times.

I have enjoyed visiting with friends and family today via the internet. I'm glad we have such a great invention. Of course, if everyone that's a Christian treats it as a "relationship tool" and not a "degrading instrument" we can enjoy it that much more. I'm glad I don't have to worry about friends or family that wants to tear down those they are connected to. Life is too short to get up tight over what someone else is doing "wrong". Thank you to those I am friends with for being Christ-like.

I have a heart filled with thankfulness tonight! There is a song that came to mind last night when I was reading my Bible that our ensemble at Life Tabernacle sang years ago. "If it had not been for the Lord on my side. Where would I be? Where would I be?" One of the times we sang the song was when we were invited to sing at a service where Bro. Urshan was preaching. When he finished preaching he asked us to sing it again. I don't know how long we sung, but it seemed like forever! He loved it! :) Why did that come to mind tonight? I don't have any idea. I guess that's my next thing to be thankful for.

I'm thankful I have memories to enjoy! So many people look at the past and have nothing good to say about it. I choose to look at the past and ENJOY it! Oh, everyone has something they could talk about that is negative, but that's not fun! Life has it's ups and downs, but we feel better if we focus on the GOOD THINGS in our life. Anyway, the "past is the past" and you can't go back and do it over. You must walk forward enjoying NOW and looking to the future.

Well, I guess I will "sign off" for now. I really don't know if many people come to read much anymore, so I guess I'll just write for me and whoever wants to listen. :) Goodnight!

A Few Thoughts I've Had Recently

For every mountain He's brought me over...for this I give Him praise!

What guidelines should I have for being on Facebook connecting with friends, and being on the internet...Phil. 4:8. There are many scriptures I could add here.

If everyone who claims to be a Christian, would BE a Christian....this world would be a much better place.

Why do snow storms and ice storms seem to "choose" Saturday and Sunday to show up?

I think one reason squirrels have SHORT legs is....because they always seem to be "running someplace". :)

I've been missing my friends and family....Heaven is really going to be an awesome place!

There's some wonderful people in the world....and I know a LOT of 'em.

A blast from the past - Daddy's voice...."Honey, I do trust you, it's just that "the flesh is the flesh, and the devil's the devil."

I wish all my family lived in TEXAS! :)

Life has a lot of twists, turns, and sudden jolts...so glad God knows where I am.

I love to laugh...it makes "life" so happy!

These are "little random thoughts" that have flitted by my brain the last few days. There is no "rhyme or reason"... just thoughts.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Been Thinking A Little

I don't know where the thought came from. It just came! Today, I was walking through a department store doing a little shopping when I remembered a little joke Mandy told us shortly after we met her. She told of a "mentally challenged" couple sitting on the front row of a church. During the message the young lady was rocking back and forth, back and forth. The young man finally got tired of it and turned to her and with a bit of aggravation in his voice reprimanded her. "Stop rocking back and forth!" She looked at him, frowned and answered with a bit of anger, "SHUP, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN PWOBLEMS!" I've laughed about this story for many years now, but today it made me think.

You know...everybody has something that is a problem for them in life. Wouldn't it be nice if we would all learn there are sometimes we just need to sit and listen to that "someone" who is needing to talk. We so many times give "unwanted advice" to those who are hurting. I know...we are just "trying to help" but silence is a lot of times the best when someone is hurting.

The only reason I am writing this tonight is because it was a thought that flew through my brain today. I have no other reason. Maybe it's just something for us to think about.

My brother died in the year 2000. We had left the cemetery with heavy hearts. Mother was quietly grieving sitting in the back seat of the car with me. I tried to console her, yet knew there was no way to help her breaking heart. I sat back in my chair and looked out the window. I didn't know what was happening in our family. My mother was very sick from cancer and we thought she wasn't too far from death when all of a sudden Keith died!!! In fact, Keith had come up to see Mother because she was so bad! As I sat there looking out the window I noticed cars driving down McNeil St. and Kell Blvd. I noticed, none of the people in these cars stopped and looked my way. They didn't even so much as glance my direction. They were busy! They had things going on in their own lives and they had places to go, people to see, and things to accomplish. This crazy thought hit me...."They don't even care that I'm hurting! I mean, how could they just keep going and not even notice that I've just lost my brother unexpectedly and my Mother was deathly sick!" This is the first time it came to me like this. "Everybody has their own problems. Who am I? I'm just one tiny piece of sand that makes up the beach of life. Then it really hit me....but GOD knows I have a problem and He is here to help ME!"

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is....Whenever you see someone in need, sit and listen before saying too much. And as you listen, you might even hear God's tender voice as He speaks through you to give the much needed love they are needing to hear and feel.

My Mind's On Vacation

While I was getting dressed this morning my mind decided to go on vacation! When I realized where it was going, I thought I would tag along. My mind, body, soul and spirit feels very refreshed since I went along with my mind. :) If you can't be on vacation today, go ahead and allow your mind to take you places that mean a whole lot more than getting in the car and driving to a destination! God is good to all of us! Enjoy your "travels" today!

As A Child - Teenager

Home

Music always playing from the stereo in the living room.

Dinner prepared by my beautiful Mother.

Taco's, grilled cheese, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, corn bread, beans, chicken fried steak, cream gravy, ummmm.....good!

Mother singing as she works around the house.

Daddy's voice as he prays over the meal.

Keith's voice, singing, laughing.

Ronda and her naturally curly brown hair that made bouncy curls.

Karla as a baby when she "invaded" my 13 year, 10 month world! (We always said I was 14 yrs. old when she was born. It was easier that way.)

Evangelists, visiting ministers and wives staying with us in our house.

Sitting around the table talking, laughing, and then getting serious as Daddy talked about Heaven.

Daddy grilling steaks, Mother preparing the salad, baked potatoes, and vegetables.

Ice Cream Freezer whirring in the kitchen.

Singing around the piano.

Practicing with Keith and Mother to sing a new song in church.

Coming home from school and seeing a letter from my boy friend, Wendell!!!! :)

Sometimes a Sunday Lunch with tuna sandwiches, chips, dip, pickles, Dr. Pepper, Sweet tea.

Sunday afternoon nap time!

So many memories I can't put them all in this one post......

As a Mom

Becoming a Mom!

Holding my babies in my arms.

All the sweet baby years - the first cry, the first tooth, the first crawl, the first pulling up at the table, the first smile, the first laugh, the first look straight into my eyes. (and so much more)

Jonathan and Andrew playing in the living room.

Wendell pestering them in line at the grocery store.

Tasha - our sweet poodle who loved to play "hide and seek".

Taking a trip to the lake with our boat.

Boys water skiing!

Eating sandwiches on the boat with chips, dip, Cokes, Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, Nutter-butter cookies, and Pecan Sandies.

Grilling outside as the boys swam in the pool.

Eating by the poolside at the patio table.

Snow skiing trips!

Music coming from the boys rooms.

Games from the game room.

Andrew saying, "Hi Mom!"

Jonathan playing the drums in his room.

Talking with the boys after Dad went to bed was my "together time" with them. Loved it!

Picking them up at school and asking how things went and knowing they were alright!

Seeing them receive the Holy Ghost and being baptized in Jesus Name!

Meeting their lovely, beautiful girlfriends, who turned into being their wives!

Sitting in their wedding's thinking how blessed we were to be adding such lovely girls to our family.

Hearing them preach the word of God under the anointing of the Holy Ghost.

Hearing their saints call them "Pastor".

Ahhhhh....life has been good....and God has been GREAT to me!

Soul's Vacation

Heaven

Jesus

Loved Ones

No sin

No sickness

No death

No tears

Rest

Peace

No more worry

My Hope

Forever in His presence with my family and friends!

Just a thought....

Our emotions have gone from one end of the scale to the other this week, but at the close of Saturday let me say that GOD has definitely been with us "through it all"!

I have several things to "report on", but for tonight I am going to tell you just one little story, then go to bed.

Yesterday, we picked up our 7 year old granddaughter, Alayna from her Poppy and Grammy Orange. After returning home, we quickly packed for the weekend, hit the road and travelled awhile, then stopped to spend the night in a motel. This was a first for us with her and we had a great time!

Alayna had to show me all the "purse things" Grammy had bought for her, and then she showed me a "special toy". She showed me how it made "different noises" and we laughed almost uncontrollably! She would get beside herself with laughter, and it would make me laugh, and before I knew it we were getting really loud. We SURE didn't need to wake the people up next door, so I told her that we could laugh, but we needed to laugh quietly. To that she asked, "Can we laugh real loud tomorrow?" I told her we could.

Alayna is really growing up, and last night I realized it. I loved sitting on the bed listening to her as she spoke of things important to her young life. I felt privileged to just sit and listen. After all, how many "little girls" want to sit and talk to an "old lady"? I'm sure you DO know that I am only using the term "old lady" because she's such a "little girl". :)

Today rolled around and Alayna got her "funny toy" out and started playing again. I was busy getting dressed, and when Wendell returned from a funeral, he started loading the car, so we weren't focusing on her toy, neither was she getting as much pleasure from it, as she did last night. While Papa finished loading the car, Alayna stood beside it holding her "toy" and as I walked toward the car I overheard her say, to no one in particular...."How come it's not funny anymore?"

That started me to thinking....

In life we have days that we enjoy "toys" that make us happy for awhile, and our expectation rises in that "toy" and we think each time we "pick it up" it's going to give us the same pleasure it did when we first enjoyed it. Then, the startling realization hits us one day... "this toy isn't fun anymore".

I don't know what "toy" you have expected to bring you "continual happiness", but your expectations in something so earthly no longer brings you pleasure. Life seems to have lost it's "fun" and you have had many disappointments. Please let me remind you....there is a GOD who will ALWAYS BRING YOU JOY!

I don't know....it's just a thought.

What Is It About Communication?

It seems these days a lot of people are getting on the internet just to stay connected. I can remember when I would wait for DAYS to get a letter from Wendell or a friend who didn't live close by. I would run to the mail box as soon as it was delivered, or when I got home from school I would run to the desk where Mother kept the mail for the day. I couldn't hardly wait to see if I had a card or letter! Once I received one, especially if it was from Wendell (my boyfriend at that time) I would go to my room, close the door, and hold it in my hands, close to my heart, then tear it open as quickly as I could without tearing the letter that was held within! Once opened...I would read EVERY WORD, then go back and read it again! Sometimes, I would go back and read it over and over and over again. I think I even "read between the lines" just to see if I could read the "real intentions" on the reason he wrote. :) Of course, I always seemed to find the words "I LOVE YOU" even if they weren't written!

We have heard for many years that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach", but I really think "the way to a woman's heart is through the written word from her lovers pen"! Oh, I don't think that is the only way into each others hearts, but there is something about a good home cooked meal that men love, and there is something a lady loves about seeing the hand writing of the one SHE loves.

I found out while I was going through my parents things that if there was any writing by my parents on any paper, card, or Bible I wanted to hold onto them. There was nothing more warming than to see their handwriting! It just seemed if I could "read what THEY wrote" I still had part of them with me. And, I guess I really did.

I still love getting cards, notes, and letters in the mail written by dear friends. I know we are getting away from handwritten thoughts and memories, but I really wish we would all take the time to write someone we love and let them know how much you care about them. Don't use the computer....go buy some pretty stationary and write a letter. Or, buy the "perfect card" for the one you think so much about!

Yes, ladies you might even need to cook that special meal for that man. Especially if you've lost the way to his heart.

Men, you might get the "special meal" if you write beautiful words on a lovely card for the woman you love!

Happy Writing.....and Cooking!

Slouching In the Pew

The year? I don't recall. All I know is that I was a very young girl sitting in church and I heard my Daddy say,

"Men, when you come to church you need to sit up in your pew and not slouch! Look like you are interested in what is going on!"

Those words made an impression on me and years later they still come to mind.


Many years later...

"Boys, you are both old enough to sit up in church! Don't slouch down and put your head on the back of the pew. You need to pay attention to what's going on in church!"

"But, Mom! I'm tired!"

That's fine, but you're not too tired to run and play after church! You will stay awake if you "sit up and listen! You can sleep when you get home!"

Someplace, at a gathering...from several rows behind a "woman of God"...

"(laughter) What do YOU think about that? (more laughter)"

"Oh yeah! Me too!" (laughter)

Yes,while people are praying and getting close to God!

A little later when I walked by and gave the little lady a hug, she said,

"It's so sad when people make light of the things of God!"

There was hurt in her voice as she shook her head.

I know I'm "plowing deep" as the old preacher would say, but I just have this nagging feeling down deep in my heart that "we need to sit up and take notice" and "quit slouching in our pew" when it comes to the things of God!

I have seen it, and you have seen it! We've all watched as the "slouchers" would say things about a sermon that was preached, and question if it came from God, or if the one delivering it "had a bone to pick".

We should get real uncomfortable when someone wants to "pick the message apart" and "question the motives" of the one delivering it. I am sure I have been guilty of listening to the "sloucher", and said my thoughts when I should have said nothing. I should have walked away from that "attitude". We all get caught when we're not praying and taking the work of God, and the Word of God serious.

As a young lady I would go to youth conference, youth camp, and camp meeting and hear men of God preach their "convictions". Maybe some things were "gray areas" as some would say, but who was I to question whether or not they were "gray areas". I don't think I knew "gray areas" existed when I was growing up. When a man of God preached, I needed to examine my heart! So, at the end of the message I would find a place to pray and ask God to cleanse me and change me if I needed to. ABOVE ALL ELSE I wanted to be saved! The tenderness of heart, sincerity in living for God, and the love for godliness, holiness and separation from the world was preached without fear or favor, and I benefited from the "old plow" digging deep into the soil of my heart!

If this isn't what you expected to read when you clicked on my blog, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry for saying what I feel. I don't want to "slouch in my pew" and "laugh away" the preached Word. I don't want to find myself one day standing at the judgement and hearing Him say, "Sorry, I never knew you!"

Let's all ask ourselves this question: "Am I "slouching" or "sitting up straight"?

My Rock, My Peace, My Hope

Psa 61:2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Joh 14:2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

I go to the Rock of my salvation...

My anchor holds and grips the solid rock...

There is peace in the time of trouble...

I have hope...there's a land that's better...

When I walk up the streets of gold...

Won't it be wonderful there...

These have been just a few of my thoughts today. Be strong!

Just one more thought...

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus...

The Future

I am sitting here this morning in a quiet house. The grandbabies are asleep and most of the adults are too. It's almost 3 A.M. and I'm wide awake! It has been a great Christmas and I am reviewing it all.

Since we do not have a house in Lufkin at this time, our family is in a "different setting" this year . Andrew and Mandy haven't sold their house, or bought another one since moving to Balch Springs, so Jonathan and Brenda are the only ones in our family who have a house!!!! :) It was the first time for us to be at their house for Christmas, so needless to say, we have all experienced something new. This past year has been a HUGE change for our family, but it's so nice to know that we couldn't have been any happier than we were today! Being together is what it's all about, and we have thoroughly enjoyed it.

I find myself looking forward to the New Year. I have a lot of thoughts rushing through my head for 2009. I'm looking for great things to happen. There are new experiences to have, new moutains to climb, new battles to be fought, and new victories to be won! Of course, I do not know what they will be for I cannot see the future, but I know God has it all planned. I really thought I knew what it was like to totally trust Him, but as each day goes by I'm learning more and more about His love for me. He has been by my side every step of the way. Yes, life has changed for us, but since He's the One that has changed our direction, I feel safe.

I really do not have a lot more to say. The "holiday rush" has come and gone, and I'm seeing the beginning of a brand new year in the distance. Let us move toward the end of 2008, and get ready for the New Year with anticipation. Forget those things which are behind and press on to new horizons!

What Bothers Me About the UPCI

My mind has been RACING this morning about this!  I really don't want to "offend" anyone who might read my blog, but I hope you will listen as I once again "write my heart".  

As you all know, I have been raised in the "United Pentecostal Church International", and I have experienced all it has to "offer".  From my point of view, whether it means anything or not, the UPCI has been a great tool of "spreading the Gospel to the whole world"!  We have missionary's all over the world who have been "screened" and "passed" by the Foreign Missions Board, and when our missionary's go to the field we can have confidence that they are "good men and women of God". I know there are those who LOVE to find fault with the "way we do things", but if they have a "better way", it would be nice to know it. This "way" has been effective for many, many years, and has been successful.  

When a church "comes open" for a Pastor, when called upon, a UPCI representative will meet with the church board submitting names of those who are available to pastor, and are seeking the will of God for their life. The church will be praying and fasting for the will of God for their church, and through a process of "seeing and hearing men of God" the church can decide if they want to vote on that man or not.  When the will of God is accomplished, the church can go forward knowing they have done the right thing, and will see revival!  I think it's a pretty good system and it has worked for years!  

But, there is one thing that REALLY bothers me about the UPCI!  I hope you will hear me out!  

Because of the thousands of people all over the world who belong to our organization, there is something that really "bothers me"!  Don't stop reading now!  

UPCI, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!  We have meetings we go to where there are so many people, and there is just no way to meet them all!  Yes, we have met many through the years who are still  "acquaintances".  There are people my husband and I have spoken to through the years, but, we've  never had a chance to really "get to know them".   Yet, in some "strange way" we still feel "connected".  One of the highlights of these "great gatherings" is getting to be with our friends!  Of course, we never have enough time to be with them during our "once a year" conference.  I do want to say that if it wasn't for this special time we would very seldom get to see them. 

 Then, there is our family!  Now, that's another story.  They are spread from one ocean to the other!  Most all of them are in the ministry, licensed with the UPCI,  and their schedules are FULL, because of their church schedules, preaching engagements, and special functions of this organization!  Do we get to see them through the year?  On rare occasion.  Really, about the only time we get to be with "most of the family" is at General Conference.  We will have a "family reunion lunch", then it's over.  A few of us will get together at different times throughout the conference, but not for long!  

UPCI you have caused our PROBLEM!  YOU have given us all of these conferences, camp meetings, youth camps, rallies and sectional conferences, and made it possible for us to "MAKE FRIENDS"!  How could you do this to us?  

Don't you know it would be EASIER to stay in our own "little worlds" and not have the FRUSTRATION of wanting to be with the ones we have grown to love through the years?  Don't you know it would be EASIER if we didn't have a chance to MEET those from "other places", like Prince Edward Island, Maine, Nova Scotia, New York, California, Colorado, Africa, Europe, New Mexico, Canada, Michigan, Argentina......on and on it goes, reaching around the world!  UPCI, how could you cause us such problems?  

Soon, in just a few weeks, we will be gathering for another one of those "bothersome conferences".  We will have to schedule our times of visiting around the preaching, singing, and being in the presence of God, and worshipping with those of "like precious faith".  What a shame that you have caused us to "have to figure out a way to see all of our friends"!  But, I'm so glad you have given us this "problem"!  

I want to say THANK YOU for all the times we have been able to go, and be a part of "something bigger than our own surroundings".  THANK YOU for giving us a little taste of what Heaven will be like.  If we were living in a "perfect world" then we would never be separated from those we love.  So, one of the things I am looking forward to when I get to Heaven is, "we will never have to say goodbye to our friends and loved ones"!  

Yes, you have let us down in this "one thing", but you can't help it, and neither can we.

P.S.  I hope to see all of my "blogger friends" at conference this year!  Please, whatever you do, while you go "flying by" on your way to meet with friends, or family, just wave and say, "HI"! :) 

Special Note:  Thank you Wendell for giving me this thought today. Love you! 

 

Dear Anonymous

My heart was touched very deeply when I read the comment you left on "The Wonder of It All".  I am "posting it" so others will read what you said, and understand why I am writing a letter on my blog.  Your comment follows:

"I can sure relate to your post--however i am "there" right now...i can remember starting to pack for special meetings waaaaay in advance because of the excitment---BUT sometimes the hurt is so deep and wounds so large --and life has so many unfair curves till i ask myself what is the use--to just be hurt again and more dreams crushed. you know the ministry is NOT an easy path sometimes and ministers can be the most cruel to others--if your not in the circle of circles then your nobody!! When you are walked on over and over by those who only use you to get their gain --makes you want to ask why do I want to be involved in that."

Let me talk to you from my heart.  I am going to say to you just what I would say if I were talking to one of my adult children, a family member, friend, or someone in our church.  :)  I know that covers just about everyone!  I do not pretend to have all the answers, but I want to help you.  I know what I say could be taken wrong, but I will do my best to "say it right".  

I remember a time in my life that one of my friends treated me in a way that was very hurtful.  I was telling my Mother about it, and she looked at me and said, "It doesn't matter what THEY did to you.  You're not any better than they are, if you let your attitude get bad!  YOU have to be bigger than that!!!"  I thought, "Whoa!  I better get my attitude RIGHT!"   If my Mother was telling me "I was just as wrong as the person who hurt me if I got a bad attitude about it", then I knew I was wrong, and better "get right"!  It didn't feel very good when she told me that, but it has stayed with me all of my life.  Anytime I have felt like retaliating because "I had been done wrong", I hear what Mother said to me.  I'm so glad she told me the right way to react when I am hurt from someone else's actions.  It hasn't always been easy to swallow and "take it", but it's been easier knowing I HAD to keep my spirit and attitude right, so I could be SAVED!

Daddy use to say, "Linda, whatever you do,  don't ever let a root of bitterness take root in your heart.  If you do you will regret it.  Once it starts growing you can hardly get it to stop!"  I watched Daddy when he had been done wrong, and he had every right to retaliate, but he didn't. The last time I talked to him before he died he said to me and my sisters, "Girls, when I'm gone, if anyone wants to know how I was doing, tell them that ALL was well."  I stood there as I listened to him talk and realized I was listening to a man who had kept his spirit cleansed from bitterness!  

I do not know "who" you are, but I do know you are a "hurting"individual.  You probably "know" all the answers to your situation, yet, when you're hurting it's hard to see through the fog that has surrounded your mind.  God does not want you to keep these hurts in your heart and mind, BUT you must be WILLING to release them and let them GO!  You are making a CHOICE everyday.  You choose to "hold on" or "let go" of the hurts that plague your life. People are going to disappoint you.  That is inevitable!!  It doesn't matter "who" they are. There is only ONE who is perfect and He was "taken away" to go prepare us a place"!  This brings to mind the other thing I was taught.  "Keep your eyes on JESUS!"  When we get our eyes on "people" they will disappoint us!  Look to JESUS!  I know it sounds easier than it is at times, but we CHOOSE what we want to do with our heart! 

Why do people want to be in the "circle of circles"?  Who determines who the "circle of circles" is?  Does it really matter?  If you "belong" to this "circle" is it going to make your life that much better?  I determined a long time ago that I was going to live life, be friends with anyone that will be my friend, and not worry about those who seem to be in "the circle".  I find much happiness and contentment in "being me" and "loving everyone".  We all have friends who we seem to click with, so find friends you can enjoy. Make new friends!  Sometimes you will be disappointed if you get inside "the circle".  It's not near as glamorous and it seems from the "outside looking in".

You mentioned that people "used you, then walked all over you".  I don't really know how to answer this without sounding harsh.  But again, YOU have to be the one to stop being used!  It's a choice YOU must make!  Don't hang around people that take advantage of you.  If you are taken advantage of,  then cut all ties!  A true "friend" would never do anything to hurt you, or "use you for their advantage", or "walk all over you".

Mom Elms was an incredible lady!  She loved God with all her heart.  Her pastor used her at times to counsel women of the church, because she was full of wisdom.  Oh how I miss her! One day while driving she was hit by a motorcycle policeman, and she suffered a broken ankle.  We watched as she suffered with the "wound" that was made when her ankle bone came through her skin.  Over a period of many months the doctor would check this sore on Mom's ankle, and it got larger and larger!  It was not a pretty sight.  In fact, it was so bad that it would almost nauseate me.  (I would never make a good nurse.)  Month after month went by and the sore did not heal.  To make a long story short, the doctor eventually had to amputate Mom's leg!  In someone who is healthy, the sore would have healed and everything would have been fine, but Mom had diabetes and because of this terrible "disease" her body would not heal itself!

Bitterness is a disease and if it is not taken out of the heart it will eventually cause you to "amputate yourself" from the body of Christ!  I know you want to do what's right.  I know you've been hurt.  I know all of the terrible feelings that can come up and blind you from what you "know" to do.  But, whatever wrong has been done to you, it's not worth the "sore" that is staying open in your heart.  The thing about holding onto this "hurt" is that it will destroy you and those closest to you!  This "thing" will make the rest of your life miserable if you do not have your heart mended by the Heart Mender!  And remember....life isn't always FAIR!

In church Sunday night I heard a song I had not heard in many years.  It touched my heart once again and reminded me "I have a long way to go to be like the Lord".  The words that really stood out to me were these:

I don't remember trudging up a rugged hill with a cross upon my back.

I don't recall a crown of thorns placed upon my brow, now that I look back.

I've never been spit upon, ridiculed, wounded in my side.

Life's no bed of roses, but still I am alive.

I have a long way to go, just to be like the Lord.

Forgiveness was taught to us by Jesus Christ.  If HE could forgive after those He loved mocked Him, spit on Him, slapped Him, pierced His side, placed a crown of thorns on His head, and whipped Him tearing His flesh until he was "unrecognizable",  then you can forgive those who have done you wrong.  Please take it to Him in prayer.  YOU do what's right and God will take care of the rest.   

I hope I have said something that will help you through this terrible time in your life.  I feel so helpless in my feeble words.  There are so many things that could be said, and so many people who could do a much better job at "helping you", but I know it's not me or anyone else who can heal your heart.  I simply ask you to "take it to Jesus" and you and Him work it out!   I have prayed for you today, and will continue to pray that you will find peace and rest in knowing you have done what's right.  I leave you with a song that is my heartbeat.

For above all else......I MUST be saved!  

For above all else......I MUST be saved!

Whatever You have to do to me,

Don't let me be lost for eternity!

For above all else......I MUST be saved!

Please let me know how you are doing.  Someday, in not too distant future, I plan on meeting you on the other side.  You can look for me "in front of the throne".  Blessings to you as you make your journey back to "the wonder of it all".

Sincerely.....Your "blogger" friend!

The Wonder of It All

I really need to be going into town to take care of a few things, but I had to stop and write what's on my heart and mind today.  Let me clarify that what I am going to say does not come from any "happenings" lately.  I've just been thinking about this for awhile. I am now "older" and have "lived enough life" to understand a few things.  I am writing to those my age, of which I'm sure you can figure out “my age” pretty close.  After all, I AM a grandmother of four, and a mother of two sons who are preacher's of the Gospel, so that qualifies me for being "old".  :)

I have been to Fellowship Meetings, Youth Rallies, All-night Youth Lock-ins, Youth Camps, Camp Meetings, District Conferences, and General Conferences as long as I can remember!  I guess you could say, "I've done it all" when it comes to being involved and attending our organizational "functions".  I will be very honest with you, and probably a little too transparent when I say there was a time I felt the "wonder of it all" start to wane.  I understand there are "seasons" in life we go through that can affect our emotions, and the way we view things.  Through all of the years of "situations" that brought on grief,  questioning where God was in "all of this", and wondering "why" He had let my life become peppered with death and sorrow, I became tired, irritable at times, and empty, because I felt like I had "given" all I could give!  I know!  I know!  There are people right now catching their breath, because you can't imagine someone could feel this way.  If you can’t believe it, then hear me out.  Before I had gone through much of life, and I still felt the excitement of all the events that we attended, I didn't understand either.  Now that I'm on the "other side" I can see clearer as I look back.

Why am I saying all of this today?  My mind has been bothered that as we get older, if we're not careful, we will lose the "wonder of it all".  No, not necessarily the "wonder of God", but the "wonder of the things of God and unity” we have known as we’ve come together in our respective sections, districts, and on a general level.  I have said and heard said, "Oh, I don't want to go to conference this year!" (or whatever is happening)  In fact, I said it just last year.  I didn't go, and wished a million times I had gone after my husband left. I will admit I enjoyed the live services via internet. I sat in my easy chair at home, in my comfortable robe, and drank in the preaching, singing and power of God, but, I also felt the void of not getting to see my family, friends, and people of “like precious faith”. That special time together could impact my life, if I allowed it to! My heart has always wanted to be involved in the work of God, and I don't want to lose “my first love”. What would I do if I didn’t have “my church”, “my organization”, and "my friends”? Where could I go that would bring as much happiness as I’ve had all of my life?

As a child, teenager, and young adult, you couldn't put enough obstacles in my way to keep me from going to whatever might be happening around me.  You must remember that was before all the extra conferences that have come along in the last several years.  Now, you can't go to everything that's happening or you would never be home.  When all we had was our "major functions" there was an excitement about "getting to go" that I will never forget!  My insides got excited as I started packing for the "big event"! When I started feeling "nonchalant" about being involved in God's Kingdom, I started getting worried about ME.  

When you're feeling physically sick, you know when you need to go to the doctor.  You also know the symptoms of when you start getting "spiritually sick"!  When symptoms start showing signs of "disease" we need to get ourselves to the Doctor and ask Him to "heal our heart".  I have seen those who withdraw themselves from the "body",  for whatever reason, and it has always scared me when I felt or saw them as they “nursed a grudge”, was "too tired to be there", or “too busy”. After awhile they fell into the "SNARE of ISOLATION"!  When the doctor isolates a sick person, it's because they are contagious!  When a person "isolates themselves" it's usually because there is a "spiritual problem" and they haven't dealt with it, yet!  I am not condemning anyone, I just know what I know, and I was almost a victim to that horrible trap.  Whenever I started feeling like I didn't "want to be with anyone" I knew something was wrong with ME!  My heart cried out, "Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit in me...cast me not away from Your presence"!

I am concerned when men and women start losing their "wonder" for the things of God.  When we lose our "wonder" it affects our children and grandchildren.  Let me ask a question.....Who kept the "wonder" alive for us when WE were teenagers and young preachers, and preacher's wives?  There were those who always talked about how wonderful it was going to be to "get to go" to conference, camp meeting, youth camp, the rally, and fellowship meeting!  I remember my parents preparing to leave for one of these functions, and how excited we all would be as they talked about what was going to be happening.  They passed the excitement down to me and I couldn't wait to get dressed to go with them.   There were occasions, such as General Conference that we didn't go until we were old enough to enjoy them, but I couldn't wait for Mother and Daddy to get home, because they would bring me gifts from conference, and also bring home new "records" (projects for those in the younger generation) of the singers, quartets, and trio's that sung in the services.  They would tell us about the "deep conviction" that fell when a man of God was preaching.  Oh, there were so many things to hear about!

WHO is going to keep the "wonder of it all" going for OUR sons, daughters, and grandchildren if we don't?  They shouldn't have to carry the whole load!  They are looking to us for their example.  I know, they are grown, they may be a pastor, or assisting in a church, or maybe they are evangelizing. Maybe they are good saints involved in the church, but wherever they are, whatever they're doing, they are looking to us.  If Mom and Dad lose "the wonder of it all", how long do you think it will take them to do the same?

I have emptied my heart for right now.  I hope I have helped someone who has been watching as their dreams seem to be fading into the horizon.  Maybe you have not seen them come to pass, and you are plagued with failure, and disappointments.  Maybe you have lost sight of the future, and the excitement for the work of God.  Maybe you can’t see the "big picture" because of a hurt that has come your way.  SHAKE IT OFF!  You don't want to "ride off into the sunset" defeated.  You must pick up and keep "running this race".  At the end of the race is when we can stop, sit down, and rest a little while.  Come On!  Let's get our FERVOR back for the work of God!  Let's get our EXCITEMENT back when it's time to be with each other!  We've got kids and grandkids who want to be involved in a church that is full of EXCITEMENT, POWER, and WONDER!   We are the ones that can give them what they long for!!  No one else can do it like we can!

Special note:  You know I love every one of you.  You are my friends and family.  If I have opened my heart for all to see, and it will help someone who is struggling, that's all that matters.  A few times while writing this post I thought about not pushing the little "orange button" that says, "Publish Post", but I am compelled in my spirit to go ahead and do it.  I hope if you've never been where I've been, and seen what I've seen, then you will never have to face the giant of "isolation", for it is one that is hard to fight if it ever takes root in your heart.  As the end of time comes closer let's support and love one another like never before!  I need you, and you need me.  Not that I am anything, but when we all "pull together" how happy we'll be! 

 

The Teeter-Totter

When I went to bed last night my mind started wandering. This happens a lot when I'm trying to go to sleep! I focused on what was running through my brain, and was surprised to see what it was! LOL! I know that sounds a little crazy, but so be it. That's what seemed to happen, and this is what it was.

I LOVE to ride the "Teeter-Totter"! Some may call it a "Seesaw", but whatever each person calls it, really doesn't matter for my "point". When I was a little girl, this piece of equipment in the playground is the first place I would run to whenever I had the chance. I know I'm way to OLD and GROWN-UP to go to the park and ride the "Teeter-Totter", but there are still times I feel that same sensation I felt as a child. "Up-down, high-low, up-down, high-low, up-down, high-low"!!! Remember? I loved the thrill of being high in the air, and dropping to the ground...back up in the air, drop to the ground! Oh how my mind races to the times this happened over and over and over again! Occasionally, there would be a bigger kid come along and ask if I wanted to "seesaw", and I would be so excited thinking I was going to get to "ride again". I was in for a rude awakening! They would get on one end, me on the other, and at first it was a wonderful ride, then all of sudden I would be slammed to the ground, because they decided to get off without warning me! There was always someone around who liked to "scare" me, too. They would come along and hold their side DOWN so that I couldn't get off of the "teeter-totter". No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make it go down....the BIG BULLY! LOL!

All those times I rode the "teeter-totter" I never one time thought about the piece in the middle that BALANCED the "teeter-totter". You know, there had to be a mighty STRONG piece of metal that stayed in one spot to hold up the middle, so that we could all have fun riding "up and down, up and down, up and down". This one piece of structure never wavered one way or the other! Of course, I have no idea how "teeter-totters" are built, but in my imagination I would think this "plank of steel" down in the earth is surrounded by a lot of cement. I don't know, but something down deep in the ground is holding it and making it stable!!!

There are a lot of people in my life. I have been blessed to have them as a stabilizing force. I have been in "the Church" all of my life, and in this "great organization" we are a part of. I can say I've been "blessed beyond measure" to have those around me who "stabilized" my life.

In this "world of mine" there has always been people who have "seen things different" than the way I see them. I don't like, and never have liked the terms "liberal" and "conservative". I am not blind to the fact, nor is my head in the sand when it comes to those who do not "line up" to what I believe. Now, I am not "tootin' my own horn", nor am I condemning those who do differently than me. My whole point is, that I want to be someone who is BALANCED in my walk with God, and my lifestyle. I believe in holiness! I don't think anyone can be "too holy"! Holiness is an attribute of God, and if I can be close to "HIM", and pleasing to "HIM" I know my "outer person" will be PLEASING to Him, also!

I love the "lifestyle" that I live! I love "separation" from the world! I can honestly say there is nothing "out there" that I want or want to do! I'm HAPPY where I'm at! I'm thankful for those who have taught me, and who continue to preach and teach "separation" and who teach and preach it from a loving, humble, heart!

There are those who live stricter than I do, and there are those who live "less strict" than I do. There are those who CAN'T DO ANYTHING, and there are those who DO MOST ANYTHING! My concern is neither place. What they do, or don't do is not my business. I would love it if EVERYONE was on the SAME PAGE, but I guess we would call this life "heaven" if that were to be the case. What I want to be, and what I want others to be, is pleasing to God!

I have sat with those who I thought were more strict in their lifestyle, and looked into their eyes as we talked, and I have found out that if they are doing their best to please GOD and not MEN, they have a beautiful spirit about them. I can feel their love towards me and others who may not see their point of view. They may be on one end of the "teeter-totter", but they won't SLAM the person on the other end to the ground, or leave them high in the air! They are merciful, long-suffering, and care for those who are on the opposite side from them.

I don't know if I'm making sense. I could keep rambling and get deeper and deeper in this maze I'm in, but I KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! I hope you do, too! :)

Crazy How Things Happen

It can be a perfectly beautiful day...all things going great, then all of a sudden CRASH!

I was taking care of household duties, going about my own business when I came CRASHING to the floor!!!! Where did THAT come from? My right leg went straight out in front of me, my left leg went behind me and under my body as I fell on my back!!! The whole back of my clothes was soaking wet and I was hurting. What I didn't know was that my washer had a sprung a leak and there was a puddle of soapy water waiting for me to SLIDE through it! When I finally got my senses, and could roll over and get up, I went outside and turned off the water and there was water flowing out from under the motorhome, out of three of the "underneath compartments".
I am okay, although a little sore and achy. I thank God that the only "visible sign" of my fall is a skinned up foot! It could be a cast on my arm, leg, foot, neck, or back! :)

Isn't it crazy how life can be wonderful and something so "unexpected" can happen and turn your world upside down for a little while?

Yesterday we had some dark clouds overhead, but just passed the dark clouds was a beautiful white cloud with the sun shining through it. My husband said, "Look there! The sun is still shining somewhere." Yes! The "sun is still shining somewhere". It may not be in "your world" at this moment, but someone is enjoying the "sunshine".

One thing I love about my life with God is that I might have a "dark cloud" overhead one day, but He won't let it stay for long!! He will make sure that in the middle of my "overcast day" the sun will shine and break through the clouds, giving me the warmth of His presence to make it!

Savanna's "Celebration Week"

This week has been a lot of fun. We have celebrated Savanna's birthday for the last three days! :) On her birthday, July 16, we went to the mall to let her jump on the "Bungee Jump". Scarlet was going to join her, but got scared at the last minute. Savanna knew she was going to celebrate her birthday on Friday with friends, so she's enjoyed her "week". Yesterday, we went to Build-a-Bear. That was my gift to her. It took us quite a while to finish there, but when we got home she was happy with her new "kitty cat". She named her "Amelia". Then, today was her party! We had a nice time and she had a lot of FUN being with her friends. She also got to have a "girls sleep-over" at Rachel's house. They were all excited!

One day while we were out eating, Savanna was talking to a lady about her birthday, and the lady gave her $20! When Savanna got back to the table and told us about it we got excited with her, then Jonathan asked, "Savanna, what is the first thing you're suppose to do with your money?" She thought for a minute then asked, "Save it?" She had several more "guesses", then Jonathan spent a little time explaining to her the concept of "tithing". He then walked away from the table. Savanna sat there in deep thought with a very serious, questioning look on her face, then she looked at me and said, "I still don't understand!" I assured her we would explain it to her some more and she would understand. Then she said, "Mimi, I don't want to learn it when I'm SEVEN! I want to learn it when I'm EIGHTEEN!" I couldn't help but laugh!!! LOL! What a classic!

I wonder how many of us have said something like this when we knew God was dealing with us about something, yet we didn't WANT to do what He was telling us we needed to do? "But, God....I really don't want to "learn" about this NOW! I'm not quite READY to do what you've asked me to do!"

I think we might be a better person if we would STOP and LISTEN to what a child has to say. We just might learn something about ourselves!