Music Reflections

While getting ready to retire for the evening my mind started working.  It seems that is when I get a "thought" to write about and I know I will not rest until it has been "written on paper" or at least typed someplace.  Tonight, I chose my blog.

I have written many times about music and songs that have been a part of my life, but tonight this thought came rushing in.  "I have been "expected" to learn all different styles of music through my life.  Why not "expect" those who are learning to play to do the same?  Why, should they get off the hook by saying, "I don't know how to play that style."?

I'm going to rewind life a few years and let you see a little bit into how I was taught to play.  Are you ready?

1.  I was taught that music was important.  That's not necessarily how it was said, but the actions of my parents and family were such.  As a young child I was "expected" to sing the songs when the adults were singing. I didn't have a choice of whether I liked it or not.  When it was time to sing EVERYONE sang, and if you knew how to play an instrument, you played.

2.  When I was old enough to take piano lessons, Mother decided I was going to take them.  I don't remember there ever being an option.  She found a piano teacher who taught classical music, and I went to piano lessons weekly.  Mother could have taught me to play at home, but wanted me to learn the "basics".  I took piano lessons for several years, and I was "expected" to practice piano thirty minutes a day.  That's a long time for a 4th grader!  I couldn't go play outside until my homework and piano  lessons were  finished.

3.  When I was about 12-13 years old (I think) Mother decided I needed to take accordion lessons!

After learning the basics, I was told I needed to start playing the accordion IN CHURCH!  No one would hear me and it was good training.  After all, if you're not going to play an instrument in church, why even learn to play?  That was the thinking I was brought up with.

4.  At the age of 15-16, my brother started a youth choir.  He asked me to play the piano.  I nearly died!  I told him I wasn't going to do it, so he appealed to a higher authority which happened to be our Dad, who was the Pastor.  Needless to say, I played for the youth choir!  I can still hear Keith's words..."If you think you're going to marry a preacher, then you better be learning to play the piano in church!" Well, Keith, as you know, "I married a preacher and the rest is history." I love you for pushing me to do what I thought I couldn't do, and thank you for believing in me.

  5.  During these years I was told I was going to play the piano for song service.  I was scared out of my mind!  I just knew everyone would hear all the mistakes I'd make and besides that there were very good musicians that would be sitting in the congregation and they should be the ones playing.  What I didn't realize at that time was I was being trained to pick up the mantle of music so I could be a blessing to my future husband, and the churches we would be in as evangelists.  Then, when we became the pastor of a church I could help out in the music department.  One thing that helped me during this time was Mother told me to practice "church songs out of the songbook" at home.  I didn't know how she "walked the bass with her left hand" and at the same time kept her right hand going with the melody.  I thought I would never get the hang of it!  Many times she stopped what she was doing to show me how she played the song.  It looked so easy when she was playing, but when I sat back down and played, it just didn't flow.  I finally decided through many tears that I would sing the song and play the bass with my left hand.  Then, I would play the melody with chords on my right hand.  I practiced that over and over, then I tried putting left hand and right hand together!  It's a wonder I didn't kick the piano over a few times out of frustration!  I did end up in tears many times!  Do you think Mother was sympathetic?  No way!  She would just say, "Just keep working at it.  You'll get it someday!"  When I "HAD TO" play in church, it made me feel better to know that Mother or Bro. Lindley would play the organ.  That way no one could hear all the mistakes I'd make!  

6.  After Wendell and I got engaged he shocked me one day by saying, "Let's go over to the church and practice some songs so we can sing together on the evangelistic field."  Once again, I nearly died!  I told him I couldn't play and sing at the same time.  Besides, he wanted me to play the accordion and him to play the bass and I just KNEW I couldn't do it.  Finally, after many mistakes, a few disagreements, some laughter and tears, we got it together!

Oh, I could go on and on!  I have so many memories of being MADE to play in front of people!  I'm SO GLAD Mother never gave up on me!  I have played many hours in church services, and have a very thankful heart for a Mother that saw a plan for my life, and charted my course so I would be able to fulfill my place as a minister's wife.

Many years later my sister, Karla stretched my abilities again.  She "expected" me to learn new choir songs that was a different style of music, harder keys, and different beats.  Some I never really "got", so I was really thankful for a great bass player and drummer that "knew the beats".  Then newer praise and worship choruses were introduced, and for me, they were not "easy" to play.  Did I get off the hook just because I didn't know how to play that style?  No!  I was pushed to learn a different style!  Was it my favorite style to play?  No!  I still liked the "traditional-Pentecostal-out of the songbook-southern gospel style of music."  After all, I had worked HOURS to learn to play it so that's what I was comfortable with.  I am still not comfortable playing some styles, and honestly do not feel I do a good job at it, but I refuse to give up.  Why?  I am a musician!  I have a talent to give to the Lord, and a desire to be a blessing in His Kingdom.  Besides, I was trained and taught that playing in church was the greatest place to use my talents and abilities.  Are there musicians that are a whole lot better than me?  YES!  But, I also know there are some that are awesome in some styles, but really do not know how to play "my style".  Am I bragging?  No.  I have nothing to brag about, but I do have a lot of years of being in the work of God and I'm wanting to stand up and say...

WE NEED MORE MUSICIANS who are COMMITTED to the work of God so much that they'll do WHATEVER IT TAKES to learn what needs to be learned, so they can be a blessing in whatever field they are placed!  Don't be so easy on yourself!  Musician,  APPLY yourself to be more than you are now.  You're going to have frustrations and tears, but there is so much JOY when you do the thing you thought you couldn't do!    So what if you you don't know how to play "that style".  LEARN IT!  Find someone one that knows how to play it, and let them teach you.  They may feel a little intimidated or even a little old-fashioned, but they have something to teach you.  It would do them good to feel they are investing in the future.  I know it's not always EASY to play something different, and it seems you'll never "get it",  but STRETCH yourself anyway, so that you're able to fulfill the needs of a congregation when called upon.

I really need to go to bed, but feel the urgency to go to the piano to PRACTICE!  Unfortunately, that's not possible at this time of night, but as soon as I get a chance I'm heading to the piano and probably to the prayer closet so I won't be too frustrated when I'm learning those new songs.  But, one thing for sure, before I get up from the piano I will go back in memory and pull out a "golden-oldie" and sing and play "to my heart's content".

This Lonesome, Homesick Feeling

Over the last few weeks I have been lonesome to be with my family and friends! I have made mention that maybe it's because Jesus is getting ready to tell the angel to blow the trumpet and call the Bride of Christ home. I don't know if that is what's happening, but that would be a great happening for the Church!

A few days ago, I started thinking, trying to figure out what it is that's causing my feeling of "lonesomeness and being homesick". I then realized for the last 10 years I have felt this way about this time of year. August 5, 2001 my beautiful Mother was called home to be with the Lord. It was Sunday evening at church time when she took her last breath. We all thought that was very fitting, because she entered into the gates of Heaven at the same time she would have been walking through the sanctuary doors at church to worship her Lord and Savior! Oh, how I've missed her! I thought that the years would take away this lonesome feeling, but it seems it is worse this year. I am not wanting sympathy, because for me that only makes it worse, but I just wanted to say "I'm ready to see her again!"

Many of our friends and loved ones have been taken from us, and we all have had our times of sorrow. I really think that this "homesick feeling" makes us WANT to go to Heaven more as the days go by. God has been good to all of us, no matter what our circumstances have been. I know He has never left any of us, and He never will. How about you all? Are you ready to go? Are you anxious to meet Jesus face to face and hear Him say, "Well Done, thou good and faithful servant?" It's going to happen someday and maybe it will be SOON!

A beautiful song comes to mind:

There's a beautiful home far over the sea.
There's a beautiful home for you and for me.
And it's glittering towers the Son will outshine.
And that beautiful home someday shall be mine.

I'm longing for Home! For the sun's going down.
I long to go where sweet rest can be found.
I'm just about through with this 'ole house of clay.
I'm leaving this world for Glory someday.

If the trumpet sounds tonight, just "look for me in front of the throne"! I'll be looking for YOU!

A Memory of Mother

I don't know why, but for some reason while sitting in my recliner tonight a scene from Ladies Prayer started "playing" in my mind. Someone had given a devotion, we had taken prayer requests and given praise reports, then we went to our knees in prayer. Mother had been diagnosed with cancer and had been sick for some time, but she was able to come to prayer that night. I loved having her there, and loved to hear her pray. I had heard her voice in prayer all of my life and still loved hearing her as she walked into the throne room of God to talk to Him.

While we were praying, a lady who was hungry to find God came in, so I stepped over to speak to her and see if I could pray with her. She was needing someone to talk to, so I took the opportunity to try and help her. The ladies had been praying for sometime, then one by one they started getting up and waiting to see if we were going to pray with the "new" lady. Being the Pastor's wife I was wanting to take care of ALL situations. This lady needed me, my ladies were looking for direction on what to do, and they weren't about to leave if we were going to pray for someone who needed God. All of these thoughts were going through my mind when out of the quiet of the moment I hear a familiar, clear, sweet voice as Mother began to sing. It was a song I didn't know real well, but as I listened I sensed a "holy hush" that swept across the Ladies Prayer Meeting. Even though Mother had not been a Pastor's wife for many years she quietly took the lead as her daughter, the Pastor's wife was busy taking care of a "lost sheep".

I cannot tell you the strength I felt when I heard Mother's voice. It was as if she was pouring herself into me like she had all of my life, and once again I was aware of the "strong pillar of strength" she was to me.

Note: I know my sister's are wanting to know what song it was that Mother sang, but since I'm the daughter of Lila Marie, that gives me the right to "not remember". Our Mother said so many times when we asked her what the name of a song was that she heard and loved..."Oh, I don't know! It was a song about God, or Jesus, or something like that." LOL! How many times has she said that to us???? Well, I'm HER DAUGHTER and for the life of me I cannot remember right now...but I will!

What Does THAT Mean?

We have all been around someone that seems to ALWAYS be "out of breath" from having SO MUCH to do! When you speak to them and ask how they are doing, you get an AVALANCHE of words telling you how BUSY they are, and how they just don't know HOW this happened. I can hear them now..."I plan and plan what I'm suppose to do, but INVARIABLY something comes up and OBLITERATES my plans! I don't know what I'm going to do! I've got to have this done and there is NO WAY POSSIBLE that I'll be finished by the time it's suppose to be finished!" (panic-panic) Off they go TRYING to get all their work done. After all, they are the ONLY one that knows how to do ALL of that work, and NO ONE really cares to LEARN, so "Poor-martyr-me" runs off to accomplish the WORK ahead.

I have to laugh at these people. I'm sorry if you're one of those, but people like this make me laugh. Do they REALLY believe they are the ONLY ONE that can do that JOB?

I loved watching my Mother when someone like this came around. She was always such a patient, loving, sweet LADY. Nothing seemed to "ruffle her feathers" and when they did she hid her feelings very well. But, for those very close friends and family members who knew her really well, we could read her. For instance...she had a way of "pursing her lips" that let you know she was perturbed about something. She also had a "twinkle in her eye" that only those who knew her well understood what it was about. When she was "put out" with someone she knew how to "ignore" without them knowing she was a "put out" with them. Now, you must understand, that her family knew what was happening, and for SURE Daddy knew. She didn't have to say anything to him and HE knew he "shouldn't have done that", or "shouldn't have said that". :) I loved watching Mother in "situations". She was much a queen!

When Mother happened to be around "Poor-martyr-me" she had a phrase she used. After one of these people walked away from her she would say: "They're always in a TIZZY!" She would shake her head just a little, and go about her own business in her own patient way. It was very seldom you would see HER in a TIZZY! There were times when I would get impatient about something and she would say..."Linda, sit down and don't get in such a TIZZY!" Some people use the word "dither", but they mean the same thing. I have never thought to look the word TIZZY up in the Dictionary until today, so I decided to after all these years. I found out that it really means exactly what she meant..."a nervous, excited, or distracted state". I didn't know if TIZZY was a REAL word, or if it was a word someone made up. It's definitely in the Dictionary, so someone, somewhere, sometime decided it was a good word to use for that "nervous, excitable, distracted" person.

For those who seem to "live in a TIZZY" why don't you try to RELAX a little, get some help to accomplish the job you're trying to get done, and learn to ENJOY LIFE? There are a lot of things in life that really aren't THAT urgent! It's usually "urgent" that steals away from "important" and when life is finished you find you've left the "important thing" undone. Live life with purpose and direction. Don't run around like "a chicken with its head cut off". (another one of Mother's sayings) Do your work, perform your duties well, and see if you can actually go through a day without being in a TIZZY. People would enjoy being around you more if you were more RELAXED!

I'm learning to live life more relaxed and not worry over what others think of what I've DONE or haven't DONE. Over the last 10 years I have learned a little more about what's important and what's not. I understand that "life is but a vapor...here today, gone tomorrow", and it's only the time spent building my relationship with God and what I can do for Him, my family, and my friends that really is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE. For it's through these relationships that you find purpose, true love and fulfillment. So, with 360 days left in this year, I want to do my best to ENJOY what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, then sit back and ENJOY less stress and for sure not get in a TIZZY!

A Tribute to a Beautiful Lady

There is a special lady that lives a long way from me that I want to give tribute to. For some reason I cannot get her off of my mind. She has been a "life-long friend" and I admire her greatly! Before I was born she was friends with my parents. In fact, before Daddy married Mother, Daddy traveled with a young man name Bill who eventually married the lady I am talking about.

Aunt Joyce...You are one of the sweetest and most beautiful ladies I have been privileged to know all of my life. As I little girl I always looked forward to seeing you and Uncle Bill. You have always been so much fun! I remember many times listening to you and Mother talk and giggle. It didn't have to be anything much, and at times I would wonder what ya'll were laughing about, but you just kept on "giggling" like two teenage girls. I have heard Mother speak of you all of my life. She loved hearing you preach! She would say, "I LOVE hearing Joyce preach!" I would ask her why, and her answer was always the same. "She has something to say and she is a lady when she is in the pulpit." I don't know how many times I heard her say those words! After I got older, I also loved hearing you preach! You have always been so "real". There has never been any pretense about you.

Through the years I always knew that wherever you were, if I walked up I would be greeted with a warm hug from you. I always got that "warm fuzzy feeling" because once I was in your presence you made me feel so special. Thank you for loving me and letting me know it.

Your life is a perfect example of how to walk with the Lord. Your dedication, your passion, and your love for God has been a guiding light to me through the years. You are one of the people I admire for knowing HIM! You have never flaunted that you were spiritual, you just were! You have never been judgemental of others. You have loved those who were not perfect. You are a beautiful example of being "Christ-like". Thank you for your stand for righteousness, holiness, and separation from the world. Oh, how I wish everyone would have the "spirit of holiness" you have portrayed, and love it like you do.

I do not know why I have felt led to write this tonight. I really want you to know how I feel, and everyone else to know that if they want to see a "true, Christian lady" they need to look at your life and pattern their walk after you.

Aunt Joyce, I submit this for all the "blog world" to see, because I love you so very much! Thank you, thank you, thank for your love for me! I will carry your name forever, and I trust I will bring you the honor you deserve!

I love you!
Linda Joyce

Note: For those of you who do not know who I am speaking about: Aunt Joyce was married to Rev. Bill Barnes and they pastored in Farwell, Texas for years. He died many years ago from a brain tumor. She is now married to Rev. Robert Baglin. He is a wonderful man, and loves her so very much. They live in California.

Been Thinking A Little

I don't know where the thought came from. It just came! Today, I was walking through a department store doing a little shopping when I remembered a little joke Mandy told us shortly after we met her. She told of a "mentally challenged" couple sitting on the front row of a church. During the message the young lady was rocking back and forth, back and forth. The young man finally got tired of it and turned to her and with a bit of aggravation in his voice reprimanded her. "Stop rocking back and forth!" She looked at him, frowned and answered with a bit of anger, "SHUP, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN PWOBLEMS!" I've laughed about this story for many years now, but today it made me think.

You know...everybody has something that is a problem for them in life. Wouldn't it be nice if we would all learn there are sometimes we just need to sit and listen to that "someone" who is needing to talk. We so many times give "unwanted advice" to those who are hurting. I know...we are just "trying to help" but silence is a lot of times the best when someone is hurting.

The only reason I am writing this tonight is because it was a thought that flew through my brain today. I have no other reason. Maybe it's just something for us to think about.

My brother died in the year 2000. We had left the cemetery with heavy hearts. Mother was quietly grieving sitting in the back seat of the car with me. I tried to console her, yet knew there was no way to help her breaking heart. I sat back in my chair and looked out the window. I didn't know what was happening in our family. My mother was very sick from cancer and we thought she wasn't too far from death when all of a sudden Keith died!!! In fact, Keith had come up to see Mother because she was so bad! As I sat there looking out the window I noticed cars driving down McNeil St. and Kell Blvd. I noticed, none of the people in these cars stopped and looked my way. They didn't even so much as glance my direction. They were busy! They had things going on in their own lives and they had places to go, people to see, and things to accomplish. This crazy thought hit me...."They don't even care that I'm hurting! I mean, how could they just keep going and not even notice that I've just lost my brother unexpectedly and my Mother was deathly sick!" This is the first time it came to me like this. "Everybody has their own problems. Who am I? I'm just one tiny piece of sand that makes up the beach of life. Then it really hit me....but GOD knows I have a problem and He is here to help ME!"

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is....Whenever you see someone in need, sit and listen before saying too much. And as you listen, you might even hear God's tender voice as He speaks through you to give the much needed love they are needing to hear and feel.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Ok...where do I start? I feel like I am one of the most blessed women in the world! I had the most INCREDIBLE, BEAUTIFUL MOTHER on the face of this earth. She "feared the Lord", worshipped Him in the "beauty of holiness", and "prayed for her children" to "love Him with all their hearts, mind, soul and strength". She has been gone now for almost 8 years, but she lives on in her girl's hearts!

I had an AWESOME Mother-in-law, who raised FOUR BOYS to fall in love with Jesus, their Pastor, and their church. She was successful in her goals, because all four of her "boys" are Preacher's of the Gospel and have pastored for many years! She loved me with an ever-lasting-love, and she prayed for me many times through the years. I appreciate and love my wonderful "2nd Mother"!

I am blessed to have TWO Godly daughters-in-law for my "daughters"! I didn't have any girls of my own until these two came along and I have to say that God blessed me beyond measure when He gave me Brenda and Mandy! They are some of the most wonderful Mother's I have ever known and they are raising my four granddaughters to love the Lord and to worship Him in a beautiful way. I'm thankful for my "girls"!

I have two sons who call me "MOM"! What more could a lady ask for? They have always given me their love and shown me respect and appreciation for being their "Mom". I am a BLESSED woman and I recognize that fact. Both of my sons are preacher's of the Gospel and Pastor growing churches. I am thankful they've had the desire to "serve God", putting Him FIRST in their lives. I'm thankful they have honored me with their lives. My heart overflows with the abundant blessings of God!

I have two sisters who are very dear to me! "I love them, they love me, and we're as happy as can be"! :) They have their own beautiful families and they are very thankful and proud of them! I am BLESSED to have Ronda and Karla in my life!!! We love being together, spending time "remembering", but it's not in a "sad" frame of mind. We always talk about the wonderful things in life that we have experienced as "Lila's girls" and it's inevitable that we will end up laughing about "life's memories".

I am blessed because I have a husband who loves me and honors me in very special ways! I am THANKFUL for the man who has given me his love and support through the years.

YES, I am a blessed sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, Mimi, wife and MOM!

I want to wish all my friends and family a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I know several of my friends who will spend tomorrow "remembering" their sweet Mother's. I want you to know I LOVE YOU and I am so THANKFUL to call you "friend"!

Everybody....have a WONDERFUL MOTHER'S DAY! Enjoy this Special Day to its fullest!

A Word of Encouragement

While sitting here in our motor home tonight this passage of scripture came to me from Psalm 121.

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills---From whence comes my help?  My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.  He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.  Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.  The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore."

If your heart feels overwhelmed, "look to Jesus"! 

If you're weary of the struggle, "look to Jesus"!

If you can't see your way clear, "look to Jesus"!

If you are struggling with questions, "look to Jesus"! 

If you're disappointed, discouraged, in distress, "look to Jesus"!

Your help cometh from the LORD!  He will take care of you!

The words to the song Bill Henry wrote comes to mind:

But, I've never been disappointed in Jesus.  Doubt has never crossed my mind, for in Him no fault I find.  I've been discouraged with family, deserted by friends.  But, I've never been disappointed in Him.

You can make it through your dark trial!  Look to HIM! 

When my mother was suffering from cancer I was at her house one day cleaning in her bedroom.  While I was cleaning music drifted down the hallway to where I was.  Mother had gone to her piano and started playing and singing:

Master, the tempest is raging! The billows are tossing high!  The skies are o'er shadowed with blackness.  No shelter or help is nigh.  Carest Thou not that we perish?  How canst Thou lie asleep when each moment  so madly is threatening a grave in the angry deep?

The winds and the waves obey Thy will. Peace, be still!  Peace, be still!  Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea or demons or men, or whatever it be.  No waters can swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean, and earth, and skies.  They all shall sweetly obey Thy will...Peace, be still!  Peace, be still!  They all shall sweetly obey Thy will...Peace, peace be still! 

As she sang I wondered, "How can she sing in the middle of the pain, the struggle, the storm?"  My answer?  She knew the MASTER OF THE WIND!  She was not alone.  HE was with her.  He never left her, or us, in the middle of our "night" and He will not forsake YOU!

Jesus, I want you to touch my friends who are struggling tonight.  Let them feel your arms of love around them.  In Jesus Name!  Amen...let it be so!    

Old Pictures

Just a "few" years ago when Daddy and Mother were young evangelists they went to Alaska to preach.  Keith was just a "baby" and Mother was about 18 years old!  Daddy would have been about 20 (I think).  I ran across these "slides" a few months ago, so I wanted to post the pictures. I know you'll like them.  

Mother with Keith in the "baby buggy".  Mother was always so pretty.

Daddy loved to fish! I imagine these were delicious when they got them prepared.Keith, my brother is on the left! He was so cute! I don't know "who" the other baby is. If anyone "out there" knows this baby, please let me know. :) Someone just MIGHT recognized "themselves". LOLAnd this is my FAVORITE! Keith always had this "winning smile"!Have a GREAT Sunday!