It was November 1972, approximately two months after my wedding. I was talking to Daddy on the phone and he told me some devastating news. At least, to ME it was devastating! I listened as Daddy's words seemed to rip my heart out.
"Linda, I called to tell you that I am going to resign the church. We have been elected Pastor of Stonewall United Pentecostal Church and we are moving to Houston, TX." I thought I was hearing things. Fresno was my home! I had lived there from the time I was six weeks old until I got married at the age of nineteen, and I had just gotten married! When I left with my husband on the evangelistic field, I expected to be able to go "home" to see my friends from time to time. If Daddy and Mother left, I would never be able to go back and it be the same! I thought about not ever going back to the house I called "home", and I cried. I cried for hours after that phone call. My world had been turned upside down and I wasn't quite sure how it would all work out. But, Daddy said it was the "will of God" so I would somehow have to accept it. A little while later Daddy and Mother moved. We were preaching revivals, so we made our way into Texas and visited them. Looking back, I see how a new life in TEXAS was begun and life was different. There were times I would ask Mother if she missed Fresno and her answer always surprised me. I just KNEW if I was missing Fresno, SHE missed her home, her church, and the saints she loved so much! Mother's voice broke through my thoughts as she tried to explain to me one more time,
"I loved living in Fresno. It was home until God changed His will for our life. I can't explain it. I loved the church, the people, and the city, but I'm happy where I'm at."
I have to admit that I do not understand the ways of God. Through the years I have wondered how she could be so happy in one place, then all of a sudden be happy and love the next place as much as she did the first one. After all, Fresno was a mighty revival church! Evangelists LOVED coming to Fresno and preaching for Daddy and Mother. Oftentimes they would call it their "oasis". When Daddy resigned the church, preacher's from everywhere were shocked and said that he must have "missed the will of God" but, Daddy assured me that he didn't. God made changes in Daddy and Mother's life again and again, and I watched Mother adjust to the "new will of God". I never saw her discontented or unhappy. I cannot recall any time in life that I heard her grumble and complain about her "lot in life". She followed Daddy wherever God took him, believing in him, and the decisions he made with God. She was simply amazing!
Fast forward many years. My husband and I were in the "perfect will of God" in Wichita Falls.
We loved our church, our saints, and our home. The church was a revival church and still is. I had the choir of my dreams and loved hearing them minister through song. I can truthfully say, I never got tired of hearing them sing! There were times when they were singing that the POWER of the Holy Ghost would come sweeping into the sanctuary and you could feel UNITY flowing throughout the congregation. Services were changed because of the "spirit of unity" that came from the choir. I also had a Sunday School class that I started and taught for many years. I loved my class and the "style" of teaching that I used. From the day I started the class my motto was: "You never know what to expect when you come to PrimeLife." My heart overflows with thankfulness and love for the saints of God that supported my husband and I through the years. They taught our sons in Sunday School, took care of them when we were out of town, and welcomed our daughter-in-laws to the "family" when our sons got married. The memories flood my mind and they are precious! THEN...all of a sudden, GOD changed His will for our life! No one was more shocked than my husband and I when it happened. I was totally floored to think that we would be leaving our church, our saints, our home, and our security!!!! We were starting to marry the young adults that were just babies when we took the church, or had been born since we were there! Twenty-four years had flown by and we were enjoying the blessings of God in the church and in our lives. HOW could I leave them? HOW could I tell them goodbye???? HOW could I leave the people who loved me and took care of me through times of sorrow, and rejoiced with me in the good times? Then...I remembered...MOTHER!
"Linda, I loved the church, the people and the city, but when God changed His direction for our lives..." I knew if Mother could do it...I could do it! I felt my heart was being ripped out when we told our lovely congregation we were leaving! It was one of those times that I wanted to get in the floor and kick, scream, and cry because it hurt so bad! Yes, I'm sure I cried a few bucket of tears, but after I cried and came to grips with what was happening, I felt a deep settled peace down in the depths of my heart. I couldn't explain it and still can't. I just have to say, "When God changes your direction, you can be happy, peaceful, and contented."
The Will of God? What is it? How do you know when you're in it? How do you know when you're out of it? Why does God change His mind? Why doesn't He leave us where we're comfortable? Why is it when you seem to have everything the way you want it He decides He wants you someplace you never wanted to be? Questions...Oh, I've had them, and YOU'VE had them! It would be crazy for me to try and answer the questions. Sometimes, you just walk by faith and know that He does ALL things well! I still do not have the answers, but I do know that down deep in my heart we are "living in the will of God". I'm contented, happy, and at peace knowing that He walks with me, and that He has our life in His hands! That's really all that matters for when God decides He wants you in a place that you never dreamed you'd be, HE makes up the difference and the questions don't have to have an answer! Maybe this is the reason we have started singing this song in the last few years...
I've been on the mountain with Jesus.
I've been in the valley so low.
But not one time has He failed me.
When to Him with my burdens I go.
So, let me walk with you Jesus.
Don't ever leave me alone.
For without you I could never.
No, never make Heaven my home.
Maybe I'm talking to someone who has had questions about the "will of God" in your life. Maybe you've been questioning "why" your life has been changed from what you would call the "norm". I don't know what you've been facing, but I do know God has not left you! He is still walking beside you! If you can somehow pull yourself away from the question marks, look to Jesus and trust Him, you will be able to lift your head and feel peace in your spirit! Keep walking with Him! Focus your thoughts and mind on the One who does ALL THINGS WELL, and let His presence comfort you as you walk with Him. HE has "YOUR WHOLE WORLD" in His hands!
"Just to walk with Him means everything to me..."
